Southern Rules

So after 20 Days straight of serious posts...I am ready for a funny one. I have been thinking a lot lately about what makes me a southern. Or really more like...what the stereotypical southern is...I cant say all of the following applies to me...but most do...and I really am not ashamed of it. :P Just for fun...these are the Tennessee Version of Southern Rules :D

1.) Sweet Tea ---Yes...everybody from the south drinks Sweet Tea. You can order it at any restaurant or Fast food place...or any normal household...or hotel...or anywhere really. You can even buy it in a store already made. It's everywhere. (at McDonald's for $1.00 for a large one! :). In Tennessee it's particularly sweet! Funny story though...I really don't like Tea that much. The older I get...the more I like it. I will NEVER...EVER...EVER be caught dead drinking unsweetened tea though...Gross.

2.) Baseball---Braves---I Do realize that Baseball in general is a BIG deal everywhere in America because it is "America's Pastime." However...in Tennessee...you are not allowed to not like the Braves. People who wear baseball shirts for other teams...are frowned upon. I don't even like baseball....I just keep my mouth shut and pretend so that I don't get disowned and kicked out of the country. Nothing can be as boring as Golf though...Yawn :/

3.) College Football---Yeah...College Football is the STUFF. Game Days in Knoxville are crazy crowded. In East Tennessee...you must LOVE the Vols (that's University of Tennessee)...hate Alabama...Despise Vanderbilt...and have a fire burning grudge against Florida. You MUST be a Peyton Manning fan! Oh...and we also hate Lane Kiffen...LOOONNNG story...Google it. personally, I love football. I can't imagine not being a part of the Orange Crowd on Game Days! And when the team "busts the T" (run through the tunnel by the band...shaped like a T) onto the field...BEST MOMENT EVER! :)

4.) Rocky Top---You either Hate this song...or you love it. This is the Tennessee Fight Song. Actually....it's not the real fight song. The Band played it at half time once back in the 80's and it stuck. We now play it for every point...or you know...yard...we gain. Our real fight song is "Fight Vols Fight," which is not played all that much in comparison. Rocky Top is actually talking about a Mountain in the Great Smoky Mountains. Felice and Boudleaux Bryant (famous song writers back in the Day...) happened to be in Gatlinburg. Rumor has it that they got snowed in up in the mountains and decided to write a goofy song for fun. This song was not really supposed to be a hit....and yet...it became one. If you live in Tennessee...you probably know every word. This song is literally known as "The most hated song of the South...and the Most Loved song of East Tennessee. "Good Ole' Rocky Top..WOO!...Rocky Top Tennessee!"

5.) George Strait---Country/Western Singer/Songwriter. Did you know he has the world record for most number one Hit Singles? Yes artists like the Beatles have more "songs." But King George has over 50 Number One Hits...more than anybody else. Everybody living in the South should be able to name at least 20 of those number one hits and sing the chorus of those 20. Just saying.

6.) Fried---the reason I only put "fried" is because we literally fry EVERYTHING. I mean seriously...northern people poke fun of our fried chicken (even though they eat fried chicken...your welcome :P)...but they have no idea. I mean...tomatoes...Squash...pickles...rice...eggplant...corn...bread...gosh you name it...we fry it...no joke.

7.) Watermelon---I hate this wretched Mellon fruit so much. But unfortunately...everybody else in the South LOVES it. My dad said I should move away...just for hating melons...*sigh*

8.) Country Music and Southern Rock---You cannot be southern or Tennessean if you hate all country and southern music. Especially in Tennessee with Nashville and Memphis right there. If you can name at least 10 country/southern/western/southern rock songs that you like or have on your iTunes...then you are safe.

9.) Language---yeah...we talk funny...but we will not admit it. If you come down here...we will make fun of YOU. Because...

• Maryville is pronounced "Murvull."
• Nevada is pronounced "Nev-aw-da" not "Nev-add-a."
• It's "naw" not "no."
• Vol is "Vall" not "VOOl."
• There is no "T" in Mountains...it's "Moun'ins."
• We add contractions anywhere possible. For example...You're...We're...They're...Can't (or Cain't or Ain't)...or Yu'ns.

10.) Dumb Phrases---This goes with the last one. Here are some Phrases that my family have been known to say (on normal occasions by the way...not to be funny)...

• "Worse than crap on a Smoke Stick" (or just...crap on a stick)
• "Holy Moley Cow"
• "Heavens Day alive"
• "Son of a Gun!"
• "she hit every branch on the ugly tree"
• "madder than an old wet hen"
• "Lands Alive"
• "fell plumb right off"
• "Fan-flippin'-tastic"
• "If that don't beat all I ever saw"
• "Busy as a Bessy Bug"
• "well...shooooo"
• "gosh dern it"
• "He'd crap a brick"
• "Gonna jerk a knot in your tail"
• "I'll have your hide"
• "dumber than a doorknob"
• "not the brightest crayon in the box.'

11.) Sun Drop---It used to be only a Tennessee and a few surrounding states thing. It's gone national now...*sigh*

12.)The Dinner vs. Supper debate---In the South...Dinner is around noon and Supper is at night. Lunch is a fancy word of smart-allec people to make us look like hicks.

13.) COKE---In Tennessee and other Southern States...every carbonated beverage is a coke. You want a Dr. Pepper??? You say..."i want a Coke." They say, "what kind?" You then say, "dr. Pepper." Don't freak out if you come to Tennessee and ask for a coke and they ask what kind.... because in our minds you actually just said, "I want a soda." You have to be specific you see. :P

14.) Boomsday---This is a fireworks event held in Knoxville around Labor Day. Basically...this is the equivalent to New York's Time Square at New Years. People everywhere...Fireworks over the river...and Music...and a countdown to the fireworks. It's a BIG deal in East Tennessee.

15.) Weather---Don't even try to predict it. Our seasons are as follows..."Summer" "Idk" "Winter" and "Idk." Literally...in the spring and Fall...one day it's 80...the next it's 60. One minute it's sunny...then it pours. Yesterday...we had a 5 minute tornado out of NOWHERE. It was sunny...BAM tornado...then sunny again. you just never know....

16.) Snow---We really don't get much...but when we get it...we panic. Most schools and business shut down it there is so much as a chance of snow the next morning. It's that crazy.

17.) Dollywood ---The greatest Attraction in Tennessee. People who live within an hour from it (like me...) have season passes and literally go like 5-10 times a year. We have every ride and show memorized (especially the photo opps in the rides). And yet....we still go...all the time. I am not complaining either...I love that place.