My Story of Loss

I have always been very close to my grandparents, all of them. Growing up, my family spent a lot of time with them...more than just Holidays and birthdays. We actually spent time with them. There was nothing I loved more as a child (and still love as a 20 year old!) than spending the night (or weekend) at my grandparents house. The grandma I was always the closest to when young was my dad's mother, whom I call Meme.

Of course, I am close to all of my grandparents. Each one of them have a very special place in my heart for various reasons. But My Meme, was more than a grandmother...she was My barrow, sprayed us with the water hose, danced in the living room, went with us to every UT Football game, and made us crazy snacks. I loved spending time with Meme. Our whole family did. Meme...was the center and rock of our family. Meme, my Best friend. The grandmother who took my sister and I for rides in the wheel

in 2003 Meme was diagnosed with Cancer. The doctor told her she had months to live. The news hit us like a freight train! How can this be happening? Why now? Why her? The next five months of my life were unbearable. The pain of watching somebody you love so much slowly fade away is just terrible, especially for a 12 year old little girl.

One night, December 5th 2003 to be exact, my father got an urgent call from his dad. He stayed at his parents house all night long. My sister, mom, and I stayed behind. Every couple of hours, Dad would call the land line (this was before the popularity of cell phones...They both had one...but they were big) and give updates on her. Not really realizing this was the end...I would pick up the phone in the other room and listen in on the conversations. The last one I listened to...My dad said the words, "she'll be gone by morning Angie." I hung up the phone and cried so hard i couldn't breathe. My Meme, my best friend...i would never see her alive again.

I cried myself to sleep that night. But before I feel asleep I breathed a silent prayer that everything would be ok...and asked God to help me through this. That night I had a dream...the most amazing dream I have ever had. In my dream Meme was healthy and happy and full of life. And best of all...she was standing there with US...my entire family. We were all happy and united.

I am not angry with God for taking away Meme, even though 7 years later it still hurts. I know without a doubt in my heart that the dream I had the night she went Home was God's way of telling me two things. 1.) He wanted me to know that Meme was Home...with Him. Which meant that 5 months of suffering were no more. She had no more pain, no more sorrow, and all tears were wiped from her eyes. Which is a complete and total blessing after her Cancer battle. 2.) God wanted me to know that because I have accepted Him and my who family has accepted Him...we will all be reunited one day. One day in the future, when all of us have gone Home...my family will be together and we will all be happy. Wow...what a blessing!

I know one day in the future I will have to once again suffer the pain of losing somebody that I love. But I know that I will be ok because God is always with me. And in the end...my family will all be reunited when we are with Him...at Home...where we truly belong.

God Bless
Morgan